


Us.

by danbaihe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Depression, Dissociation, Established Relationship, Han Jisung | Han is Oblivious, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Hwang Hyunjin is a Sweetheart, Hwang Hyunjin-centric, M/M, Mentioned Seo Changbin, References to Depression, Sleepovers, Smoking, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25688224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danbaihe/pseuds/danbaihe
Summary: Us - Punchnello, MeenoiOrJinnie:  I love you, so why can't we label it as it is?Jinnie: us.DAY 1
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Us.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol sorry I completely died I've been up and down for a bit but now I have a new challenge that, granted, I'm a bit behind on, but it's a fun one, so let's see how I do lmao.

It starts with coffee on a table. The cup is getting cold, and Hyunjin is explaining to Jisung why he doesn't like the word 'alone'. Jisung is simply looking at the coffee in distaste, waiting for Hyunjin to finish.

"I just don't like it. Maybe it's because I feel lonely easily or something, I don't know." Hyunjin picks at his fries, sighing as he looked to Jisung. "You know what I mean? When like, maybe, you can't sleep and you're just like laying on your matress, so you go get your phone, and like, no one is online because they're sleeping. Those are the times I get really lonely. Because if someone else is online they're busy with something, and then it makes me feel insignificant you know? Like they at least are a cog in a machine, but I'm the bent screw that fell out years ago."

A silence falls over them as Hyunjin picks at his fries and sips from his milkshake. He clears his throat slightly, prompting Jisung to say something.

"I don't know. I don't think anyone likes being alone, just maybe not as much as you." Jisung said, and Hyunjin nodded.

"That's fair."

Another silence.

"I don't know. I like being a part of something you know? Like when someone uses 'our' instead of 'his and I'. It makes me feel better, being a part of something. Like I have a group. A designated group I just kind of vibe with, you know?" Hyunjin didn't know why he was spilling his guts to his boyfriend at a retro themed diner, but there's no reason for him not to, therefore, he'll continue.

"I guess, yeah." Jisung agrees, and Hyunjin only goes further. 

"I never hear you use us. Why is that?"

Jisung slaps a bill on the table, mutters "us is meaningless", and leaves. That's the first date out of three where Hyunjin is left behind.

It continues when they're with their friends at a carnival, and Hyunjin is throwing himself over Jisung happily as Chan takes a picture of the group's resident couples. Hyunjin and Jisung on one side of the photo, Changbin and Minho on the other.

Hyunjin looks skinny. Tall, but sick. It doesn't really look natural. He gets stressed easily and his body reacts in ways that alter his ability to function.

Jisung looks happy, for a moment. The moment in the photo. After, he's watching Hyunjin argue with Seungmin about which game booth they should try next while leaning on the younger male, yawning. He's tired. Jisung knows Hyunjin so well, he knows the other is tired and obviously straining himself.

"Jisung!" Hyunjin calls out to him. "Let's go get ourselves food!" He says excitedly.

"Whose paying?" Jisung asks, half jokingly. After seeing Hyunjin frown, Jisung gets up. "Don't worry babe it's a joke. I'll pay."

He hears a snort and a "whipped." from Minho.

"How does that burger and hotdog stand sound?" Jisung asked, pointing as he took out his wallet. The tall man looked, nodding. "Okay. Sure." He let his hair fall into his face as he followed his boyfriend, Jisung laughing as the other wrapped his arms around him and then forced him to carry him to the stand.

They order with Hyunjin getting a piggy pack from Jisung, the two walking back to their group with Jisung laughing as Hyunjin tries to feed him a corn dog.

"Hey. What are your guy's plans for the next week? Chan is thinking of taking the gang out on a road trip. Originally he was gonna go with Jae and your brother but both are losers and cancelled on him to go to some weird honeymoon thing." Changbin said, scrolling through his phone in Seungmin's room, the office chair's wheels squeaking against the floor as he moved to the open window to take a drag.

"Hyunjin and I don't have anything planned I don't think." Jisung said. "School is really stressing him out. He's probably gonna get sick or something from it." He murmured, looking up from his own phone where he was laying on Seungmin's bed. "I can ask him though. It'll probably make him feel better.". Jisung said, yawning lazily.

"If you're gonna take a nap at least use my brother's bed. I will be so pissed if I throw a fucking sleep over and don't even get to sleep in my own bed." Seungmin said, eyeing Jisung. Jisung groaned, but sat up as the other ordered. "Sorry, I'll time my scheduled yawns so that they only happen when I'm laying on your brother's bed." He said, rolling his eyes as he got up and crossed the room to go to the other's bed.

"Shut up." Was Seungmin's only reply, to which Jisung stuck his tongue out. Changbin had his head out the window, but soon poked back in as he stubbed his cigarette on the windowsill, Seungmin cringing his nose at the action. "Pizza is here." Changbin said, right before the doorbell rang.

"Suddenly, I'm not tired anymore." Jisung said, getting out of bed and grabbing Seungmin's wallet.

"Hey!" Seungmin yells, chasing the other down the hall as Jisung chaotically laughs and yells.

"Fucking dumbasses." Changbin mutters before he turns over to Jisung's phone. It's lit up with some texts. Changbin can read them from where he's sitting. They're both Hyunjin.

Jinnie: I don't like the word "alone", and I don't like the word "each". I want it to be "us" forever.

Jinnie: I know it seems so silly, but please listen to me.

Jisung is texted pictures of Hyunjin at the river, at first, curled up, and by himself, but then looking at the camera. Mad at whoever found him.

'yall okay?'

Jisung can't help but compare them to the pictures the two took at that same spot when they went on a little evening date. They didn't have a lot of fun- it was more like a synchronized breakdown if anything, but that spot had become their favourite. Jisung found himself sitting alone at the dining table, no one with him. He had those pictures of Hyunjin, but a simple moment captured isn't the person is it? It's not 'us' if there's only a fragment of the second person.

Hyunjin didn't feel like moving from the couch. His head is leaning against the armrest, and he's staring down the hall. Maybe Jisung will come out of his room. Maybe he'll decide to cuddle and hang out with Hyunjin. Or maybe he'll nap some more, and leave Hyunjin to rot.

It takes 40 minutes, but eventually Hyunjin manages to get up, and the living room is empty. The house is weirdly still.

Much different from a bowling ball rolling down and hitting the middle pin dead center. Hyunjin watches as all ten pins fall down and a 'strike!' appears on the screen. He waits patiently for his ball to come back through the machine, only for him to make another strike.

This would be fun if Changbin or Jisung were here. They were both good at bowling as well, and this is where Hyunjin and Jisung had their first real date. They spent hours horribly throwing in attempt to impress the other when their nerves were too bundled for them to make real progress. They ended up going through a drive thru and driving around town until Jisung needed to stop for gas, driving Hyunjin home and giving him a small peck on the cheek.

Now they live together, and it's like Hyunjin is non-existent. Like he's a ghost. 

Hyunjin glances at the collage of pictures the bowling alley has on the wall. One stands out to him.

In the middle, eight boys. Rowdy, but happy. In the center, Hyunjin and Jisung. Jisung and Hyunjin holding each other close, Hyunjin planting a kiss on Jisung's cheek while Jisung is laughing and looking at the camera. They look so happy.

Hyunjin wishes that he and Jisung were that happy now.

Jinnie: This seems silly, I guess, so please just listen to me. I feel like we've changed a lot. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. We still have the same taste in food and even hate the same things, lmao. 

Jinnie: I don't think we're that similar personality wise though. We share one trait: when we're apart, everything else becomes meaningless.

Jinnie: But we're growing apart. Why do you keep trying to split us? I love you, and you love me, so why is it such a problem? I don't like the word alone, but it's all you live by. I don't like the words each, or you and I; but it's all you use.

Jinnie: I love you, so why can't we label it as it is?

Jinnie: us.

It's 9 in the morning, an empty room. It was Jisung's. The window is wide open and the outside sounds filter in. Hyunjin's texts show up on the screen of Jisung's phone as the notification bell sings. Only one word is shown, from his most recent text.

'us'.

**Author's Note:**

> Short, but, it's tied together quick enough that I don't feel bad about it haha 😎 expect something either later today or tomorrow


End file.
